There’s a certain feeling you get in your stomach when a tight contest comes down to the final kick. Even after three hours of craziness, you’re left unsure if all the nerves will wash away or if that pit will have to endure just a little bit longer.
But on this fine night in Chicago, the fans watching this game don’t have a pit in their stomachs from nerves.
It’s the need to vomit after watching one of the ugliest games they’d ever seen.
POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE
Before the ugliness, the Chicago Bears were sitting real pretty. They were coming off a Monday Night in Seattle where they punked the defending Super Bowl champions, 34-17.
With new recruit Jeffery Simmons coming from the Tennessee Titans via trade, many people across the NFL world crowned the Bears as legitimate Super Bowl contenders. A team to be feared. A team ready to make noise in January, and potentially even February.
ON TOP OF THE WORLD
In the first quarter on Sunday Night against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, they more than backed up these claims.
Quarterback Caleb Williams left jaws on the floor with dime after dime, hitting fadeaway jumpers like Dirk Nowitzki in his prime.
After the first quarter, his stat line read six-for-eight passing, 105 yards, and two touchdowns. These included receiver Rome Odunze’s first touchdown of the year, featuring a celebration tribute to injured tight end Cole Kmet, and a 56-yard switch to light-speed from receiver Luther Burden III.
With a 14-0 lead, it felt like Williams could do no wrong. Like he was the superhero who would lead Chicago to the promised land.
The Iceman. The Big Eraser. Whatever you want to call him, he was demolishing the Buccaneers.
Unfortunately for him, this superhero was about to meet his archnemesis.
Florida Man.
HEAT CHECK
Feeling himself a little bit too much, Williams fired a strike to the end zone that was easily intercepted by Tampa defensive back Tykee Smith.
Cool. It happens. This might even be a good thing. Everyone will calm down. Remove their heads from the clouds. Realize the team isn’t invincible.
And hey, would you look at that?
The defense stuffed Buccaneers quarterback Baker Mayfield’s quarterback sneak deep in their own territory.
The perfect time for Williams to get back onto the field. And then right back to the sideline after throwing a horrific interception to defensive back Zyon McCollum.
This is where the stomach issues and hair pulling began.
Later on in the second quarter, the Buccaneers were driving deep into Bears territory, when Mayfield decided to join in on the interception fun with a pick to defensive back Cam Lewis.
43 seconds left in the half. All three timeouts.
The perfect time to throw yet another terrible interception to McCollum. Williams is lucky the refs blew the play dead before it could become a pick-six.
Stomachs growl in frustration at terrible offense from both sides.
Tampa only had enough time to muster a field goal out of it, so the scoreboard read 17-6 in Chicago’s favor at the break.
A tale of two quarters. First quarter Caleb Williams looked like Stephen Curry. Second quarter Caleb Williams looked like Denzel Valentine.
The phenomenal first quarter gave Chicago a base to stand on amidst the devastating hurricane of the second quarter, but the ship could only hold firm for so long.
Tampa fired the cannons with a 58-yard bomb from Mayfield to receive Tez Johnson on the opening drive of the third quarter. This set up an easy touchdown run for Chicago native Bucky Irving to make it a one-score game.
There wouldn’t be any more scoring for a while as both offenses shut down like Windows 95.
For the Buccaneers, it was drops and false starts galore.
For the Bears, it was a barrage of incompletions and a stubborn refusal to run the ball.
That was until Williams added a little more spice back into the game with a pass tipped and intercepted by Buccaneers linebacker Alex Anzalone.
Williams said after the game, “I’m gonna throw until I can’t throw anymore… I’m never gonna not throw.”
For how bad this game was, that is still the right mindset for a quarterback to have. Probably not the right mindset for a play-caller to have when his quarterback refuses to stop throwing the ball to the wrong jersey color.
A GLIMMER OF HOPE
Despite being ahead, this Chicago crowd felt disgruntled and dejected. Williams’ interception may have added some spice for neutral fans, but these fans needed a real spark to get their hopes back.
And who better to bring that spark than the man who’s spent all season getting burned?
Defensive back Jaylon Johnson snatched a pass from Mayfield out of the air, sprinting down the sideline. The sudden change gave him plenty of time and space. The only man with a chance of catching him was Mayfield himself.
Lucky for Johnson, he had backup. Defensive end Montez Sweat was with him every step of the way. He sent Mayfield tumbling like Homer Simpson down the cliff, and Johnson extended the Bears’ lead.
This burst in momentum was only short-lived, though, as the Bears tried their hardest to keep the Buccaneers in the game.
A near-muffed punt from receiver Kalif Raymond. A fake punt that would’ve been blown up if not for a false start. A near-fumble from running back D’Andre Swift.
These Cardiac Bears sure like to keep their fans on their toes.
HOMECOMING KING
Deep into the fourth quarter, the Buccaneers finally turned the corner.
Burden III caught a screen pass and read his blockers to spot a lane to burst through. What he didn’t spot was Buccaneer defensive end Reuben Bain crashing into him. The ball spilled out of his hands, and the Buccaneers fell on it.
They quickly took advantage as Irving ran for another touchdown. Seven years of braces gave him a clean, wide smile as he celebrated in the endzone. On the two-point conversion, Mayfield called his own number and tied the game at 24 with less than three minutes to go.
After Chicago’s torrid hot start and their defense doing its best to hold on for dear life, the dam finally broke.
IT’S FINALLY OVER
Luckily for the Bears, they had a lot of experience in these situations.
Last season, they became known for their last-second wins, snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. But that was last year; this year the Bears had needed no last-second heroics. As head coach Ben Johnson said after the game, “We really haven’t been in that situation… in the fourth quarter with little time left, needing to go.”
With two minutes left, the Bears faced a crucial third-and-4. They had started the game six-for-six on third down; since then, they were zero-for-six.
On the most important play of the game, the offense needed to be back on their A-game. They were. Williams found Raymond for a crucial conversion.
After that, they showed a strange lack of urgency. Short runs that went nowhere. Huddling up. Letting precious seconds run off the clock.
A chorus of fans put their hands on their heads, wondering, “What the heck are they doing?”
The answer was moving the chains, somehow.
Williams found tight end Colston Loveland wide-open for a completion that led them into field goal range.
A couple of knees later, kicker Cairo Santos lined up for the game-winner from 38 yards out.
All the ugliness. All the deflation from last week’s high. All the vomit that was contained. All the vomit that wasn’t contained by fans who needed more beer than usual to get through this game.
Despite everything, Chicago still has a chance to get a win.
A good snap, good hold, and a perfect kick sent the fans home with a half-smile on their faces.
It was the first time Chicago had won while turning it over five times since the famous Monday Night game against the Arizona Cardinals in 2006. It was their first win in a game covered by NBC since 2018.
Even with a sour taste in literally everyone’s mouth, the Bears were the kings of the Crap Mountain.
GAME BALL
Ben Johnson wasn’t exactly in a good mood, so he only had one game ball to hand out.
Jaylon Johnson: His first game ball of the season for getting three tackles, a pass deflection, and a crucial pick-six.
TAKE A BREATHER
Coming at a fantastic time, the bye week gives the Bears plenty of time to learn from their mistakes and ensure that a night like this never happens again.
Even with such a terrible contest on national television, I’d like to think we all learned something today. Don’t get high on your own supply. Stay calm, stay cool, and do not ever, I mean ever, chew fifteen to eighteen pieces of Dubble Bubble at once.
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