We’ve all been there. That first couple weeks (sometimes months…) of a new relationship when you do nothing but bang each other’s brains out. That does not always last that long for everyone though. Sometimes that flame burns out more quickly than others.

When that flame does burn out you have to find ways to keep it interesting. Sex is not the key to a successful relationship, but it does help, for example the use of toys like remote control vibrators can be really helpful in this area. I can speak from past experience that I have stopped communicating with or dating someone because the sex was bad.

Before you jump to the conclusion that I am a shallow person let me explain. Bad communication between partners leads to a lot of problems, especially in the bedroom. If you are not willing to talk to your partner about sex, then you are not mature enough to be having sex in the first place.

I was once dating this guy for a very brief period during my freshman year of college. We met at the bars and ended up hooking up the same night. It was great… or so I thought. We started to get serious after a few weeks and that was when we had sex again. It was terrible.

Five short minutes of jack rabbit humping and a grunt, then it was over. It was straight out of a Sex and the City episode. I was left unsatisfied and unamused. Yet I was still scared to tell him that it was bad. Scared that I would bruise his manly ego. I decided to give him another chance because everyone has bad days, so the next night I crashed at his place and yet again I was left disappointed. This man, or boy I should say, also told me that one of my bras made me look like a grandma. Don’t worry, I dumped him shortly after that and searched for fuck apps to try out right away.

If your partner isn’t doing something you want them to, ask them. The worst they could do is say they are not comfortable but most likely they will be cool with it because they want to please you. Well at least I hope they do, if not why are you there?

It goes both ways, make your partner feel comfortable. If you feel like something is up, ask them. Do not be afraid to ask questions and say how you feel. Chances are if you feel like something is up, it is. Men suffering from ED may also notice their sex lives suffering. Thankfully, there are now vitality supplements like Red Boost (See More Information) that can help cure impotency.

The post Sex in Iowa City: Relationship Sex appeared first on KRUI Radio.

So what happens when the season rolls around and you actually do have someone in your life? And especially what do you do when you’re actually taking them home for the first time?? Well, lucky for you, I’ve found myself in that exact predicament this year, so I’ve had a bit of time to reflect on the situation and have compiled my checklist for surviving the season.

First order of business: Get your story straight.

I can guarantee every person you introduce your significant other to will want to know the lovey-dovey story about how you met. Every. Single. One. If you have some cute or mundane story about how you met, this really isn’t an issue. But what if you met while the two of you were both drunk off your ass downtown, or what if you don’t remember the first time you met, or even more scandalously, what if you met on Tinder? (*Cough, cough.*) This virtual girlfriend app can offer a level of privacy and control if you’re concerned about privacy or reluctant to share personal information or feelings with real people.

While your family members are staring at you with that starry look in their eyes waiting for every little gory detail, you can’t panic. Like I said before: they can smell fear. On the car ride or plane ride home the two of you have to nail down exactly what story you’re going to tell, and you have to be on the same page for every single detail. Leaving it at a vague “oh, we met through friends” isn’t going to cut it. TRUST ME.

Next: Establish your territory.

Even if you’re a *genuine adult* with your own apartment that your significant other sleeps over at on the regular, chances are your parents will be wary about you staying in the same bedroom, let alone the same bed (especially if they’re Catholic.) It’s just a parent thing; you can’t hold it against them, they truly mean well.

You’re their baby after all, and all your parents are probably going to hear when you say “hey, is it okay if (insert bae’s name here) stays in my room with me?” is that their baby is going to be getting freaky with the dude or lady they just welcomed into their home for the first time. When in actuality, it’s more of a case of “yo it gets really cold in the basement and I rather not make them sleep alone on a couch when there’s a high chance they’ll wake up with our cat sniffing their face in the middle of the night.”

You might have to be firm with them, and remind them that since your baby brother’s room is DIRECTLY above your room nothing other than sleep will be happening, but hopefully they’ll cave.

Final step: Prepare them.

If you’re a better girlfriend/boyfriend than I am, you probably won’t find the entertainment value in throwing your love into the family fray unprepared just to see how they handle it. (I know, I’m the worst, but honestly it might be kind of funny). My family is what I would describe as aggressively nice, you know the type of people who will smother you with hugs, food, booze, and leave your cheeks sore from all the photo ops, so I’m really not too concerned for my boyfriend’s wellbeing.

However, if you don’t completely want to throw your love to the wolves, it would probably be crucial to the health of your relationship to prepare them for the next few days. Let them know who not to get into politics with, which sports teams not to talk shit about, and other sort of topics that usually lead to family rifts. “Babe, no matter what my uncle says, DO NOT pull his finger. Don’t fall for it. I beg you.”

Hopefully this helps at least a little bit. Good luck to all you love birds out there, I wish you the best.

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The post The Walking Contradiction’s How-to Guide: Bringing Someone Home for the Holidays appeared first on KRUI Radio.

Love is the newest film from infamous director Gaspar Noe. Released in 2015, the 3-D film immediately garnered attention for its use of nudity and explicit sex. Love blurs the line between art-house film and pornography in a way that is rarely seen, especially on such a wide scale. Love is not without its critics, and many of their points are valid; Love is not a perfect movie. But, it is certainly different, and for many, the film’s desire to push boundaries is enough to deserve attention.

The film follows Murphy (as in “Murphy’s Law“, which the film explicitly states in bold letters), a young father who wakes up on New Year’s Day deeply unsatisfied with his life. He receives a call from his ex-girlfriend’s (with the equally loaded name Electra) mother, asking him if he has seen Electra lately, fearing that she may have hurt herself. This call puts Murphy in a tail-spin, and he spends the rest of the film reminiscing on his passionate but volatile relationship.

Gaspar Noe is known as a boundary pushing director. His other feature length films, (I Stand Alone, Irreversible, and Enter the Void) all deal with tough subject matter, and his style of film making is designed to disturb instead of entertain. His work in Love is no different, and reminds me quite a bit of Lars von Trier‘s Nymphomaniac. Beyond the exploration of somewhat similar subject matter, and the explicit depictions of sex, the two films also share a fourth-wall breaking story telling technique. Love is filled with wild insert shots (including an ejaculating penis that is somewhat frightening to see in 3-D), harsh jump cuts, and non-linear vignettes. This is definitely an artsy film, and anyone coming into it with the same expectations they would have for a Hollywood blockbuster will be in for quite the surprise.

Despite all the sex and artsy film techniques, or perhaps because of it, Love still has its shining moments. There are moments of real and relatable intimacy between the characters. While romantic comedies may play on our happiest fantasies of love, Love brings to the forefront our darkest realities. There are moments and feelings in Love that are deeply human, but seem somewhat unexplored in movies. It takes a bold and honest look at a deeply dysfunctional relationship, and forces its audience to feel both revolted and sympathetic to its main characters. And that, I suppose, is enough for a piece of art, isn’t it?

Click here to see if Love is playing in a theater near you.

The post Cinema Spotlight: Love appeared first on KRUI Radio.

It had snowed an abundant amount the night before, so the superintendent at Ballard High School had called for a snow day. Lucky for me he did. If he had not, I may have never been able to write this personal narrative or learn that, at the end of the day, something that is heartfelt and simple can go a long way.

At the time I was an eighth grader, who had finally grown into her baby fat and was just becoming interested in boys. All my friends had had boyfriends in the past, except for me. So months before this fateful day, I had devised a plan to secure myself a man. Not just any man: Nicholas Baumhover.

Nick was a year younger than me, who just happened to be a stone, cold fox. Being the cougar I was, I watched him for a while. I learned who he was friends with and what type of activities he was in. Once my research was complete, my friend Val helped me get his attention. That was stage one.

Stage two was to create a schedule to get him to fall madly in love with me. Without going into too much detail, the schedule consisted of me texting him first for a number of days, only to stop one day, so he felt like something was missing. He would soon realize that I was the thing that was missing, and text me first instead.

The last stage, to really seal the deal, was my Halloween party. I invited a number of my friends and a number of Nick’s friends, so he would be more motivated to come over. I provided food, movies, and a fire: all the makings for a smashing party. I dressed up as a sexy clown; well, as sexy as an eighth grader who didn’t quite know how to put on makeup could be.

Nick dressed up as a Jamaican. His costume was made up of a black and white striped shirt and a red, green, and yellow beanie with black dreads coming out of it. My costume was a short, white dress with pink frills along the edge and colorful polka dots strategically placed throughout the flirtatious ensemble. We were, without a doubt, the perfect match.

We spent the whole party talking by the fire; hours of divulging our life stories, and Nick fixed the fire every ten minutes to keep me warm. We were officially “together.”

The next few months were bliss. Every day we had stimulating conversations, via text of course. He even gave me his zip-up camouflage fleece, which my friend Val stole from me and gave to someone else. Safe to say, the fleece was never returned to Nick. I was so committed to our relationship that I even stayed home from school one day to finish his Christmas present. I knitted him a black and blue stocking hat that ended up being too big for him, so it just looked like a beanie.

During many of our text conversations, Nick would brag about how great his house was for sledding. So, you can imagine my excitement when I saw “Ballard Middle School: Closed” roll across the bottom of the TV screen one fateful morning.

Nick’s parents had the day off, since the roads were so bad leading out of town, so they let him invite friends to go sledding. Since I was his girlfriend, I received one of the exclusive invites. Around ten in the morning, my friend Val and I walked to Nick’s house in our snow gear. When we arrived, we saw Nick on his four-wheeler and his friend, Charlie, riding on a sled tied to the back of the vehicle with rope. They were whipping around, having a grand time. When Charlie’s turn was over, Nick came to greet us.

He asked if Val and I wanted to have a go, and we obviously said yes. So he tied another rope to the back of the four-wheeler, and Val and I jumped onto our individual sleds.

At first it was really fun. The sled would bounce over every hunk of snow, and the brisk, cool air hit my face as we picked up speed. But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end, and to an end it came when Nick decided to make a quick, left turn.

Because of how sharp the turn was, I was violently pushed off in the opposite direction of Nick, which would have been fine, if there was a snow bank or something soft for me to run into, but that would have been too easy. Instead of a snow back, I ran into the Baumhover’s thick, wood mailbox post. Luckily, I was wearing a helmet so nothing severe was injured, but I did receive a nice bruise the size of a toaster on my thigh.

Unfortunately I was a junior high basketball cheerleader, so I often had to wear short shorts that revealed my battle scar. Needless to say, my bruise reminded me, and everyone around me, of that glorious day for weeks to come.

After my unpleasant encounter with the mail post, I had had enough of sledding, so instead of challenging death, I convinced my friends to play in the snow with me while the rest of the group risked their lives trying to get an adrenaline rush. After a few hours, everyone was cold, so we took off our snow gear in the Baumhovers’ shed and went into their house to warm up.

Once I was warm, Nick asked if I wanted to go help him pick up everyone’s snow gear in the shed. Being the good girlfriend I was, I obliged right away.

Once we got to the shed, I went right to work. Lost in my concentration of the difficult task of picking up soaked snow pants, I did not notice Nick standing by the door. I finally looked up when he said he wanted to show me something. Excited to see something new, I trotted over there. When I got there, we were standing face to face.

“What is it?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Mistletoe,” He said with a smile. I giggled and looked up but found no leafy green plant hanging above us.

“There’s no mistletoe,” I said confused.

“Does it matter?” Nick said with a nervous smile.

“Nope,” I said without hesitation.

Nick and I leaned in and met each other in the middle. Before we touched lips, I took a moment to truly take him in. We were so close that I could smell his laundry detergent, which smelled like a fruitier version of Lysol. I saw his face more clearly. He had green eyes: the color of the evergreen trees out in his front yard. He had cheeks as pink as a Strawberry Starburst.

Finally our lips met.

The kiss was only a few seconds long, but during those few seconds I made the mental note to ask him what type of chapstick he used because his lips were as soft as butter. After the kiss we finished picking up the snow pants and went inside to have hot chocolate and scotcheroos that his mom had made while we were “helping pick up.”

Nick and my relationship only lasted a few months but to this day, our first kiss is the only one I could possible tell in so much detail that it adds up to over a thousand words. I have had a handful of first kisses in my life time, but none that could match up to this one.

I do not remember my first kiss because of the fireworks or the electricity. I do not remember it because I thought the boy was drop dead gorgeous, even though he was pretty nice to look at. I remember it because it was pure, simple, and heartfelt. It was just a simple kiss from a sweet boy who ran me into a mail post earlier that day.

The post First Things First appeared first on KRUI Radio.