Where to begin? Might as well start with the worst so far. Bad movies may be bad, but I feel that somebody has to watch them, if for no other reason than to warn others of a potential two hour time suck. Also, all movies took a lot of time and effort to be made by someone. If I must suffer for an hour and a half to validate some movie studio assholes’ life and career choices, the lukewarm feeling I get is sorta worth it. Popcorn is also the food of the Movie Gods so at least I can eat two tubs with “butter” and leave a theater full of stomach, if slightly more bereft of brain cells than when I entered.

Anyway, bad movie number one: Gods of Egypt. Yes I paid five bucks (early bird price; I’m not a complete moron) to watch Jamie Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) fight Gerard Butler and zing one-liners for 2 hours while surrounded by CGI that is outclassed by most Playstation 2 graphics. Ever since 300, Gerard Butler’s yelling and ab-building skills have, for whatever reason, been able to entice me to see nearly any movie he is in. Yes, I have seen Olympus Has Fallen, The Bounty Hunter, and The Ugly Truth. Yes, I may need some professional help.

Director Zach Snyder has also built enough good will with me through both 300 and Watchmen that seeing Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice on opening night was not something I could refuse. While Dawn has been getting panned by critics and even given Ben Affleck some of his worst Daredevil flashbacks ever, this was a “bad” movie I actually enjoyed. The fact that the movie is 2 and a half hours long and I didn’t check my watch once is all the evidence I need to show that I was thoroughly entertained. Sure there was some bad writing. Batman starts an opening monologue by stating something along the lines of “What falls is fallen.” Not exactly Aaron Sorkin-level dialogue. Yeah, the movie may have been a little bloated in run time. I didn’t really need to see a 2 minute sequence of Ben Affleck lifting weights in a gym so intense and manly it would intimidate even Gold’s Gym members. But hey, Batman was a favorite cartoon of mine as a kid and Wonder Woman is a goddamn boss, so I ended up liking the movie.

While I could give you a detailed list of every terrible movie I don’t think you should waste your valuable time on, taste is subjective, and who knows, you may like every movie I hate. But for goodness sake please don’t watch Final Girl (Netflix), The Hollow (Netflix), Indigenous (Netflix), Ouija (HBO), The Pyramid (HBO), or The Gallows (HBO). These are all terrible movies, and if you like them you should feel bad. But hey, I did just list the services you can view them on so maybe I’m sending mixed messages.

Whew! Crap movies are out of the way. Lets get on to some good stuff you can watch so I can redeem the part of my soul that Gods of Egypt sucked out. So far in 2016 I have seen 86 movies. Most have been solid pictures, if not that then just really fun pieces of glib entertainment. While I like Oscar films, movies don’t have to be high art to be entertaining. So yes, The Revenent, The Big Short, Spotlight, and Mad Max: Fury Road are all amazing movies, but I’m assuming you know that. I’m more interested in finding the slightly more hidden gems.

If you’re looking for a theater release with more plot than two caped dudes beating the shit out of each other, check out 10 Cloverfield Lane. Like the original Cloverfield, the hype behind this movie came out of nowhere. The film was given the code name Valencia and a very brief description: A girl gets in an accident and is abducted by a mysterious stranger. There is a lot more to the plot besides that but to tell you would be a disservice to the film. I highly recommend checking out the Original Cloverfield before you make your way to the theater. Besides the obvious similarities, you may notice similar themes between the two, including  traumas that spur characters to heroic action. And if words like “themes” and “plot” make you think of lame Oscar bait movies that you hate, there’s also explosions and stuff so that’s cool.

I wish I had the time to go into every good movie I’ve seen this year but I’m currently binge-watching season two of Daredevil so obviously I have more important things to do. Here, though, are a few other solid, if slightly overlooked, films from 2015 and 2014 that are a great way to pass the time: Turbo Kid (Netflix), The End of the Tour (Amazon Prime), Macbeth (2015; Amazon Prime), Magic Mike XXL (HBO), Dope (Netflix), Rosewater (Netflix), Bone Tomahawk (Amazon Prime), and Slow West (Amazon Prime). Check them out. Or don’t. I’m not your mother. Make your own decisions.

Watch and Talk is an alternative look at film. It is a column that discusses movies from all different genres. Movies are not necessarily reviewed, they are simply talked about. Watch and Talk looks at not only the entertainment value of various films, but also the cultural aspects and impacts that films can have. 

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• Gerard Butler Fights His God Dad on a Spaceship in GODS OF EGYPT Exclusive Clip

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In order to best understand this movie, its important to note in what context  it was first received. By 1966, the year of the film’s release, the genre of the Western had become worn out. Particularly, the “Spaghetti Western” (Westerns directed and produced by Italians) had been mostly ignored by film critics. Sergio Leone’s graphic and over-the-top depictions of violence, along with his morally ambiguous characters, stood in stark contrast to the standard (and sometimes cheesy) John Wayne Western.

The film starts out with a slow and dramatic rise of tension, as three dusty cowpokes descend on a lonely and dilapidated building. The lack of dialogue allows the use of the soundtrack and the sound effects to tell the story and set the emotional stage. It isn’t until the second scene, nearly 11 minutes into the film, that we hear the first of the dialogue. One man’s peaceful family existence is brutally shot down in cold blood (Leone would use very similar opening sequences in his next film Once Upon a Time in the West) and the main plot begins to take off.

The story revolves around three characters: Blondie (The Good) the morally questionable anti-hero played by Clint Eastwood, Angel Eyes (The Bad) a ruthless bounty hunter, and Tuco (The Ugly) a wise-talking loud-mouth bandito. All three become tangled up in a race to find a buried treasure worth $200,000 in gold.

The film takes place in the waning years of the American Civil War, and the main characters spend time with both Union and Confederate soldiers. Interestingly, the film never passes moral judgement on either side of the conflict, but is more interested in looking at the consequences of the war on its fighters and on the nation itself.

An important point needs to be made regarding the sound and stylistic elements of the film. Especially for those of us raised on mainstream Hollywood movies, or those of us familiar with the gritty and realistic modern Western, it can sometimes be difficult to interpret the film. In true Italian style of the time, all of the sound and dialogue is recorded separately from the filming. While American movies may take a perfectionist stance on synching sound and video, this film focuses more on atmosphere and style. Dialogue is not perfectly synched with the actor’s mouths, the sound effects are sometimes obviously recorded in post-production, a style maybe too little difficult to swallow at first.

This translates into other elements of the film as well. While many modern Western-themed cinema may focus on a more realistic portrayal of the Old West, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is much more concerned with the drama and romance of the genre. Sometimes, the incredible actions of the characters may not be entirely believable, but its more important to enjoy the spectacle of it all than to be convinced that everything you see on screen is hyper-realistic.

Filled to the brim with sharpshooting, standoffs, shootouts, and getaways, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is an action-packed adventure. However, it is a nearly three hour long adventure, and during the film’s most dramatic moments Leone is not afraid to slow the pace way down, taking his time to rack up the tension.

This film should be best enjoyed like the five-star meal that it is; savoring each and every wide shot and extreme close up. Expecting the cheap non-stop thrills of a modern action flick will only hinder your ability to truly appreciate this masterpiece.

My Personal Rating: 9/10

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is available for streaming on Netflix Instant.

Its also available for download on iTunes.

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